Beverages and Poultry

Alright, so the whole Red Sox chicken and beer story is ridiculously overblown. If you disagree, you're out of loop with Major League Baseball. This stuff happens everywhere. As a matter a fact, it happens in other leagues too. Let's look at a few examples, starting in MLB itself. Everyone knows the legend of Wade Boggs. Rumors swirl all over the place in terms of how many he could put down on a cross country trip, but it lands somewhere in the 60-70 range. There's two things here. First, that is obviously a direct example of someone crush brews throughout the season. The second yet more important issue is that if one individual was drinking that much, one would have to assume that other teammates participated as well. It would seem unlikely that someone who didn't drink would be okay with this to the point that they wouldn't make a stink about it. How about the great story of David Wells pitching a perfect game still drunk from the night before. Straight comedy. Let's now move to Josh Beckett. Certainly he was bevin pretty hard this past season, but this isn't a new thing for him. In Florida, Jack McKeon had to give bathroom passes because Beckett and the doughboy Brad Penny were sneaking off to the dugout every other inning. On a quick side note, have any of you ever seen Penny's girlfriends/wife throughout history? It's absolutely outrageous he pulls ass like that, even for a professional athlete. Regardless, back to the topic at hand. All I can picture is back in the day, Alan Embree and Mike Timlin drinking six packs and straight whiskey and talking about hunting. How about that time Kevin Millar bleached part of his facial hair, then proceeded to go to the dugout, shave it off and draw it in with a black sharpie? If he wasn't sippin' when he did that it must be because he had led himself to mental retardation by killing brain cells drinking.

However, this isn't the end of it in sports. Hockey speaks for itself; players were drunk back in the day, they still get drunk now. Everyone knows that. Football? Joe Namath openly admits he couldn't play for shit unless he got drunk the night before and was a little hungover going into the game. I'm dead ass serious too. How about Kerry Collins? There's a reason that dude looks like he's 65. It's because he basically pickled his liver in alcohol after he was highly selected in the NFL draft way back when. I once saw an interview with Larry Johnson where he was talking about his McDonald's breakfast that he insinuated that he got rather frequently. OchoCinco, when he didn't feel it necessary to go with a Neverland Fairytale name and was Chad Johnson, used to get McDonald's for every freakin meal! Let me say that one more time in order to let it sink in. Chad Johnson ate McDonald's for every meal during the season! In terms of basketball, Paul Pierce was a total booze hound. Although, in his defense, if I had to play on the Celtics when he did, I would've been right there with him. Perhaps you thought about the Delonte West video where he's clearly high and eating a shit ton of fast food. Again a perfect example.



The real issue with the Red Sox is that the players weren't on the bench with their teammates. Its goddamn selfish. I could care less what they do in their free time. Do you really need to be in that good of shape to play baseball? They should've been out in the dugout, packing bombs, and talking shit to the other team. That's what I would've done anyway.

-@MaxMorellz